Saturday, April 3, 2010

one of the hardest days of my life...

today...princess and zany have been placed at the humane society :(

after weeks of thinking and searching, kirk and i decided to surrender our 'babies'. due to moving a lot for our new life, needing to get the house ready to sell, trying to find rentals that allow a dog and 3 cats, unable to give enough attention to all, and if i'm ever pregnant while kirk is deplayed (cant do the litter) - we have chosen to say 'goodbye' to the cats. luckily, my mother-in-law took buddy, but the girls are not at the shelter. it was so hard!! and my heart is broken, even though i know it was the right decision. we have had buddy for 7 years and thankfully he is still in the family, and the girls for 5 years. kirk gave them to me for a birthday present - the best bday present ever. pets really are children and i feel horrible that i was unable to care for them. i'm so afraid that they will not be adopted. i miss them so much and this kills me. i keep thinking i will see princess laying on my bedroom floor when i walk upstairs or zany will come trotting into the bathroom while i'm getting ready or taking a bath or buddy will be crying so loudly to go outside. i think most of all i will miss princess sleeping with me everynight and walking up my body to kneed on my throat. the house seems so empty now. it is only the start of april and i have had so much loss already this year. this is by far the hardest year of my life. i just keep thinking about princess and zany stuck in a cage - lonely...scared...etc. i just feel so guilty and sad.

this sucks...

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